Serving myself or Serving others?

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                            One Sunday a month I am in charge of 6-10, 3-5-year-old students at my church. Being a teacher by trade, and by calling,  I do not mind teaching Sunday School. Saturday night, right before I go to teach my mind races, my heart gets stressed out and I do not sleep well. Thinking all about how the hour or so of church will run. Will they be safe? What if there are kids that are difficult? Will we get through everything? ect. Well, I woke up on Sunday dressed ready for kids and went. The morning went ok seems a bit chaotic, but they are just energetic preschoolers. Potty time, snack time, bible time, craft time, seems to roll but my mind is so stressed, I find that by the end I need a brain break from life in order to get back to normal. Have you been there serving, worrying, stressing about serving? My heart easily gets entangled by my flesh lust for the easy non-changing life, when God is calling me to more. 

                 1 Peter 4:8-11 (NIV) says " 8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

             Man, This mind-blowing reminder of God's plan for us hit my heart like a shock Sunday. When I came home so overwhelmed wanting to quite, I realized I taught Sunday on my own strength and unto myself.  My flesh was wanting things to just be easy so I could just get through it but my heart was missing. God calls us to love each other above all else. Loving others is not easy. If you haven't read this post of mine about Deep Love click here and enjoy this challenge too. God's calling for his people is seems simple but is so challenging when you put a human with a free will to choose in the mix.

                We are to offer hospitality without grumbling. When I have to do things that aren't easy for me my first response is to grumble about it. Sometimes I just get out the icky stuff to help me pour in the good, but I have been challenged by fellow women of God that the first response to changes and challenges are how we see God. If we grumble, do we see God as helpful and loving? He calls us to spread his love and message to the world and I choose to grumble and complain about it? My heart needs a refresh. We have been learning about Paul in Romans, and something that stuck out to me is that through prison, uneasy dealings with people, and true persecution he seemed to wake up, put his prayer on, give the glory to God and go do what God had for him- Preaching to the Gentiles. No questions asked. It was very hard and he asked for prayer and support but he kept moving on. May my life reflect this attitude of gratitude and perseverance as God calls me to go and spread his love to those around me. My heart is needing a refresh. Will you pray with me that we can have a heart overhaul and see serving and others through God's eyes and not through my fleshly desires.

                  11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.

             Next 1 Peter reacts to our heart and service to others. If we speak,  speak as we are speaking the very word of God. Is my relationship with God so close that when I am in my mission field, everywhere I go and everyone I see, I am sensitive in my spirit to God that his words are the first to come out instead of my human words? My heart yearns to be used by God, but lack of time spent studying and reading His words proves that he can still use me, even the rocks will cry out, but my vessel he is wanting to use is only half full making my readiness lacking. 

             Last, as I serve with God's strength and all glory be given to God. This verse speaks so closely and clearly, my heart needs little explanation.  I try so hard to do it on my own for God and though I want to give glory to God until I really allow his strength to be my own I won't be able to give him full glory through my service to others. 

                      Lord of all creation, I give you my fleshly desires of finding the easy service and doing it on my own. Forgive me for trying to serve on my own and create in me a clean heart that is free to serve with a heart full of gratitude and strength from you! Bless all as we journey on in this life striving to serve others in Love. Amen